The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
