dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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