; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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