i jhust puked up my retainher.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
