I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
