then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
