If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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