He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Randomize
