Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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