we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
