My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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