You really coming over, don't trick.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
