Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
