She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
