hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
