I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
