i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
