Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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