sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
