If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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