Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
