he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
