You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
