does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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