You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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