Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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