This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
You are a genius and a whore.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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