I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I look better un-naked...
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
