she sounds like chewbacca in bed
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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