I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
