She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
