Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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