Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I forget how to act sober
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
