Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize