fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Randomize