I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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