soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
