You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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