He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
