New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize