Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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