Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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