I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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