I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
