How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
