How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
