The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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