But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
