Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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