I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
