CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
