this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
