my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
This is my gift to your gina
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Randomize
