how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
