i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
