I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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