i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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