Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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