So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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