belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
