I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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