If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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