I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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