at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
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